This whole get-out-of-debt nonsense has really screwed me up, you know that? I mean, really. When was the last time someone handed you $2,000 and you said, “no, thanks”?

Not long ago I mentioned some freelance work coming up. It’s a fun, challenging project, but one for which there has been little time lately.

It is for a dear friend and is not on a strict deadline. Nonetheless, I want to get it done sooner rather than later. I am shooting for the end of February. It should net around $3,000 toward our debt and I look forward to making that payment.

But the bulk of the work remains to be done. Like, 90% of it. So, although I have been keeping track of my hours we are in Happy Meal land on the balance sheet, you know what I’m saying?

Imagine my surprise when my friend hands me $2,000 a couple weeks ago.

“I need the expenses for 2009.”

Whoa. But, dude, I don’t borrow money.

“You’re not borrowing money, it’s for the project.”

Yeah, but it kinda feels like a loan, you know? So we put it aside it its own account where it sits untouched until the job is done. In fact, it will be the start of moving our finances to a new bank, but that’s another post that has nothing to do with this loan / pre-payment / friendship-risker.

I am trying to decide if it has taken on a weird connotation now; a strange specter of debt. I understand that it was business money that does not affect my friend in anyway, but my emotional connection to money, loans, debt and the interplay with relationships has changed so drastically that I feel a certain discomfort with the situation.

That is leading to lots of clear communication with my friend that, in the worst case, will end in me simply handing his cash back. I’m not sure I’m handling it right, but that will just make me get the project done even quicker. I wonder what you all think of it.

Plus the hole in my pocket is starting to stink.

the Dad

© the Dad, Climbing Out, 2010. | 11 comments