The Wife has taken dance classes since she was two and danced professionally into her twenties. I, on the other hand, had almost no paid hobbies growing up. With those differences, it should probably be no surprise that we need an Emergency Budget Meeting about the kids’ upcoming dance recital.

To The Wife it is expected that we budget for costumes and recital tickets and, hey, I’m cool with that. My kids rocking a stage? Awesome. It’s all the other things that are starting to freak me out; maybe I need some perspective from other parents.

It’s not just costumes and tickets, honey.

What caught me off guard at first was the video. You can’t tape your kids yourself, but you are welcome to pay for the video the studio shoots for you. I should have remembered this one, we ran into it two years ago. I don’t mind paying for quality, but listen, they pan all over the place and you’re lucky if you can spot your own kids in that mess.

Next, photos. Two 5x7s of your little dancer and a group shot. Hmm. Can’t I just pull out our point-and-shoot for free? Judging by the video policy, maybe not.

Commemorative t-shirts! What the hell? I know, I’m being a caveman here, but really? The Wife (who I hope chimes in) says this is the way the studio raises money and she’s happy to support them. My feeling is I support them every month when I pay the $35 per child tuition plus the annual sign up fee.

Lastly, dinner. The Wife totally caved on this one and agreed to come home for a nice dinner instead of taking the family out after the recital. I should probably do the cooking, I’m thinking, to make up for being a tightwad.

I wanna blow $300 too.

So there you have it. Not counting the monthly tuition to class, this recital thing is going to dent the budget by about $300 and last night’s Emergency Budget Meeting remains unfinished.

Listen, I love my kids. I adore them. Perhaps I’m just feeling surprised and beat up as line-item after line-item shows up for this thing like a mechanic calling throughout the day to tell you he found another thing wrong with the car.

The great part of an EBM is that The Wife and I can communicate about this stuff. Especially since any kind of money talk used to completely scare the poop out of her. She’s ready and willing to bring this stuff up and talk about it openly; that’s what budgeting together does for a family. Thanks, Dave Ramsey.

And the truth is, I love watching her dance.

the Dad

© the Dad, Climbing Out, 2010. | 11 comments

I believe our perceptions of money, debt and even contentment (i.e.: happiness) have become so healthy as The Wife and I sear the lessons of becoming debt-free into our psyches.

All of our family and friends support our goal and some have even dug in and are applying the same principles that bring us such peace. But a recent offer from very kind, loving family members highlights one of the red flags we have come to watch for.

I’m not sure I ever mentioned interest rates when I first tallied up our debts for you, but they are high. The cards run from 14% – 32%. I suppose I should write “ran” as all but the last big one are paid off.

Why I Don’t Care About Credit Card Interest Rates

There was a time when I really cared about those big interest rates, but I haven’t in a long time. When you crush your lifestyle and pay debt down interest rates just don’t matter.

Here’s a real example. One of our cards had a balance of almost $7,000 and an APR of 32%. We could have spent a lot of time worrying about such a malicious interest rate, yelling at people, surfing balances all over the place, but you know what we did instead? We paid the freaking thing off! And we did that in 12 months in our debt snowball.

32% of $7k is $2,240/year if we left the whole balance there. But we snowballed it aggressively so realistically we’re talking about 32% on an average of 50% of $7k for a total of about $1,120 in interest paid on our highest APR.

Why Borrowing Money from Family is Stupid

Now back to the well-meaning offer from family. With kind hearts we were offered a loan to pay off all our remaining debt at an interest rate of 7%. At first glance this is wonderful, right? 32% vs. 7% ? C’mon, no brainer, right?!

Wrong.

Here are the reasons we would never accept this loan (I mean, beside the fact that we will never borrow money again):

• we have learned that debt changes the relationship to the creditor
• if an income-crisis were to occur, the debt gets paid last after the necessities
• 32% is a lot more motivating that 7%
• 7% of $7k is $490. Since we paid $1,120 in interest we are only talking about $630 and that’s hardly worth our relationship with anyone let alone a dear family member

Loaning Money to Family Could Have One Benefit

I would also never consider loaning money to anyone again (that includes co-signing on a loan).

Can you imagine putting a loved-one in the position of having to choose buying food and paying their water bill over paying you? No, thank you.

What about sitting down to a holiday dinner at your debtor’s and noticing the new drapes, computer, or silverware? How would that make you feel about your loan?

The only real benefit to loaning money to anyone is to drive them away completely. I guess if there were someone I never wanted to see again I would loan them $50. That might be a cheap price to pay in some cases!

How to Get Zero Interest On All Credit Cards

The real way to no interest is to get out. Get out of debt! Run like a crazy person from those sharks.

• Decide you are done and never borrow money again.
• Live on a budget beneath your means for the rest of your life.
• Keep an emergency fund.
• Work like crazy, sell all you can, and pay everything off.

Boom. Zero interest. Every time.

We are So Grateful for the Love of our Family

It is with huge gratitude that we declined the loan. We know it came from a position of love and a desire to help, but when you break down what can happen the risk far out weighs any minor APR benefit.

Don’t ever borrow from family, guys. It just isn’t worth it. Really. And I recommend you never loan anyone you care about money either…

Unless, you know… you never want to see them again.

the Dad

© the Dad, Climbing Out, 2010. | 4 comments

Daughter A is finally agreeing to wear some other clothes besides the “zoo shirt” she’s been living in and fleecey pants. It could be the 100F+ temperatures we’ve been having, but whatever! It’s so nice to see her legs.

A Surprise Shopping Trip

So, the other day I got a $10 off coupon from Kohl’s, a local big-box department store. I decided that I would pitch in a couple of bucks and take the girls shopping and get a couple items of clothing as a treat. Something Summer-y. We spent over half an hour trying on different clothes: pajamas, dresses, shorts… I only pulled things from the clearance rack to stay in the budget I had set for myself. We finally narrowed it down to four items that would only ask about $6 from my pocket.

As we stood at the register, the girls put their items on the counter and I opened my wallet. Inside I found another Kohl’s coupon for $10 off dated June 2010. I jokingly asked the cashier if he would take that one too! He called his manager and he said YES! He rang up Daughter A’s clothes and then applied the coupon, FREE! She had picked out items that totaled less than $10. Then he rang up Daughter P’s clothes and applied the other coupon, FREE! She, too, had picked out an outfit that totaled less than $10. Holy smokes! We walked out of there with two new outfits for FREE!

People probably want to help you win.

Being on a budget and working with cash has made things easier for me at the register. Either I have the money or I don’t. Decisions are easier since there is no cushion. It is what it is. It has made me less shy about asking for help too. I have asked the cashier at the grocery store to help me put things back when I go over budget. I asked Kohl’s about an expired coupon.

You never know until you ask. Stores want to keep you coming back. Even leaving with free clothes I now have a positive experience at Kohl’s and will likely go back.

Go ahead, just ask for the deal. You never know, they might say YES!

The Wife

© The Wife, Climbing Out, 2010. | 4 comments

Wow — already?!

I can hardly believe it has been a year since we started on the road to financial peace. First, a thank you to all of you who follow our journey and offer encouragement. To those of you doing it with us, HIGH FIVE!

So how are we doing? It’s been 12 months since we started this journey and this blog.

For 12 months we have

• Lived on less than we make
• Maintained a small emergency fund
• Operated our finances on a budget
• Borrowed NOTHING
• Paid down our debt

Looking at our debt chart we have paid down about 38% of our total debt or around $18,000. If you’ve been following us for a while you know that’s around 20% shy of where I wanted us to be. Nonetheless, we are on our way to debt freedom.

I have some observations after a year of following Dave Ramsey’s advice; some surprise me.

• Making a budget every month has become easy, but still takes about the same amount of time.
  I mean, it’s downright SIMPLE now. The mechanics of filling out the line items, adding in the unusual things for the month, chatting about it, and printing the final budget to hang on the fridge are second nature. Still, it takes about an hour each month.
• Emergency budget committee meetings still happen almost every month.
  This one surprises me and maybe it’s because we’re getting complacent, but nearly every month we have to get together at least once to cover a screw-up or unexpected event.
• Homemade bread is awesome.
  The Wife is out of control in the kitchen. Homemade meals every day. Homemade bread, yogurt and granola. She even made our own almond milk.
• Kids’ commissions need their own line item and can really add up.
  Okay, listen to me. Don’t underestimate this one. It’s all great teaching the kids to be Dave Ramsey fanatics like us, but those commission payments can get pricey! Budget them in.
• It gets BORING.
  Seriously. The months when we can send two thousand dollars to our debt are awesome, but when it’s only three or four hundred for a couple months in a row I start to lose interest (pun not intended).

This year I am down right antsy. Antsy, I say! I want out and I want out now. The freelance work I picked up recently is in high gear and should be done in about two weeks. The pizza delivery work is surprisingly hard to come by, but applications are in. The kids start full-time school in the Fall and The Wife should be able to double her hours.

It’s a marathon, you say? Not a sprint? Well, staying the course for the long haul is really… long! Nonetheless, it’s the only option. Getting out of debt ain’t easy. It’s just worth it.

Or so I hear.

Thanks again for sticking with us, everyone.
the Dad

© the Dad, Climbing Out, 2010. | 11 comments

I’ve been using Gillette Fusion blades since they came out and the Mach 3s before that. Why? Because they sent me a free handle, unsolicited, when they first produced the dang things.

I think they came with one or two cartridges too. However, at $25 per refill package they had become a painful slice of the weekly budget. I was done.

A quick Google search led to a post on the Art of Manliness that gave me the guts to order a Merkur Razor for $35 and 10 blades for 25 cents each.

Twenty-five cents! Let me tell you: I haven’t looked back since.

This morning as I was shaving I realized how much a wet shave with a safety razor is like baby step 2, getting out of debt.

Compared to the old Gillette, shaving with the Merkur is harder, takes longer, and requires paying attention. Although second nature now, at first just learning to hold the thing was weird, getting the angle right to my face, getting used to the mechanics of changing the blade and working up a lather…

Like getting out of debt, it was a new way of operating. Like living on a budget, paying cash and spending less than we make.

It has another thing in common with becoming debt-free. It is worth it. Not just the cost savings (which are substantial), but the quality of shave.

Sometimes we stumble and need our emergency fund (like when I nicked my philtrum the other day), but at the end I expect everything will be…

wait for it…

smooth.

the Dad

© the Dad, Climbing Out, 2010. | 22 comments

Isn’t it interesting how we attach significance to some numbers? Turning 40 is over the hill. $99 is a much better deal than $100. 5 miles over the speed limit is okay.

As this decade ends today I find myself weighed down with the importance of looking back ten years at where I was, what I did and, maybe more importantly, what I didn’t know.

Certainly nothing makes this ten year span more important than any other, but what the heck. Let’s just decide to attach significance to it anyway, shall we?

Ten years ago I

• just bought my first house. 4br, 3b, 1,800ft2, $129,000
• had known The Wife for 8 months
• smoked
• had never heard of intra-uterine insemination
• had about $2,000 in consumer debt
• worked in the exact same building & job, but the company name was different
• weighed 30 pounds less
• had just brewed my first batch of beer – it was awful
• hosted a New Year’s party at my new house with friends I will not see tonight. Most because they moved away, some because we are no longer friends.
• drove a paid-for pickup with 60k miles
• wish I had heard of Dave Ramsey

Kind of interesting to look back.

What were you like 10 years ago?

the Dad

© the Dad, Climbing Out, 2009. | 10 comments

While I truly hope you all had as lovely a Christmas as I did, I cannot imagine that’s possible. My condolences.

It has been a stunningly wonderful holiday season. And not only was it all done with cash, we even paid down another thousand dollars of our debt.

At The Wife’s insistence we had a Christmas sinking fund and spent it on the kids; $100 each. That may not seem like much, but it was enough and generous grandparents from both sides of the aisle made for lots of love and plenty of presents to unwrap.

Ice-cold weather. Lots of good food, candies and baked things. All-day fires roaring in the fireplace. My parents visiting to enjoy their grandkids’ fifth Christmas. And me with all of last week off.

It was absolutely fantastic.

Yesterday was my thirty-eighth birthday. Before getting on the road to work I opened a card left behind by my dear folks. It had a generous cash gift; enough to take the whole family out for a fun lunch. So The Wife and Kids drove into town and we had a fabulous lunch together.

In a restaurant.

And none of us work there!

These are good moments, people.

Remember turning the Christmas lights off? Well, that played out too. The kids totally got it. We are getting out of debt and daddy sold the light controllers. No fuss. No complaints at all about the static lights I hung around the eves.

However, I was not prepared for the countless cars who stopped by only to leave disappointed. Several caught me with the garage open, rolled down their windows and asked where the light show was. I told the briefest version of our story I could. They all said how our show had become a tradition for them and one fellow offered to donate cash. It is ironic that I was the one bolstered by my kids’ easy acceptance when chatting with the crest fallen passers-by.

All of it, of course, strengthened and solidified our resolve to become debt-free. The best Christmas we’ve ever had full of joy, laughter and wonderful memories. I wouldn’t change a thing.

I hope you feel the same and wish you all a wonderful New Year.

the Dad

© the Dad, Climbing Out, 2009. | 9 comments

Oh. My. God.

After ten months (TEN MONTHS!) of financial responsibility… no, financial PERFECTION, today I screwed the pooch.

Actually, I screwed the pooch more than a week ago when I ignored our budget and decided things were going even better than I thought they were… and gave away the farm.

October was a rollercoaster of events and by the time November rolled around I was really ready for a calm month and a nice fat snowball payment. No little extras popped up and The Wife even brought home a fatter check that we had budgeted for.

So when the end of the month rolled around and I prepared to make our snowball payment, I found more than expected in our checking account.

“Well, of course, it was a pretty good month, wasn’t it!”

So I sent nearly the whole thing off to our debt. Um. Enthusiastic, yes. Smart? Well, I left no buffer in our account and today we paid dearly for that.

Seven, count ‘em seven, items posted to our account before today’s paycheck went through. Seven overdrafts. Seven overdraft fees.

Overdraft fees.

We haven’t seen those in nearly a year. Had I stuck to our original snowball amount we would have been fine. What does Dave Ramsey say? “Children do what feels good. Adults devise a plan and stick to it.”

I went with my emotion, my excitement in paying off debt, instead of analyzing a situation that had obviously changed. For that we are paying dearly. Overdrafts at Wells Fargo go for $35 each.

The Wife was brave enough to go to the bank, apologize for her idiot husband and get them to reverse some of the overdraft fees, but not all. What a trooper.

There are some fundamental questions this debacle raises. Where was the communication between The Wife and the Dad? Why had the extra money not been addressed together in a budget committee meeting? Were the seven items this morning expected and if not, why not?

We will sit down together this weekend, hold hands and answer those questions, shore up our financial defenses and I will keep my debt-paying in-check. Seeing a negative balance, a negative balance, in our checking account today triggers a visceral response that nearly brings me to tears.

Today, I stand before you a humbled man. There is always tomorrow. Another month. Another budget. Another chance to get it right.

the Dad

© the Dad, Climbing Out, 2009. | 12 comments

I have tried to find the tone for this post for a week now, but have to admit it is hard to land squarely on the side of happiness or condemnation.

You know how some things just make you cock your head to the side in a gooey blend of disbelief, empathy and mild-confusion? Not in a superior manner — instead, you want to be happy for someone, but can’t see around the enormous elephant in the room.

Friends of ours are in a similar, though slightly-closer-to-shore, financial boat. They have about $10,000 of debt and drank the Dave Ramsey cool-aid along with us last Spring. They didn’t hit as hard a bottom as we did, though, and their progress has been fairly spotty. Well, just different from ours.

Nonetheless, they seem to be enjoying the improved communication and peace that comes from doing a written budget. They are in their third month of Financial Peace University.

My head-cocking moment came a week ago when the husband sent me a text message with a picture of a brand-new $1,200 iMac. I’m like, whaaat?

The computer they had at home had been “acting up” and all their stuff was on it and they needed to get to their budgeting spreadsheets and it had just become unusable…

They “needed to get to their budget…”

“No biggie, we didn’t finance it, we just used the money from our upcoming garage sale plus pulled some from our $1,000 emergency fund.”

Head-cock.

“This thing is amazing! It’s the first state-of-the-art computer I’ve ever owned, you know, I’ve always had hand-me-downs and pieced together machines. It’s nice to have something new.”

Nod. Nod.

“Anyway, we’ll fill the emergency fund up with the money from the garage sale and we really had to do this.”

Never has it been so clear to me that personal finance is really personal. These friends have a set of priorities and values and it would be ridiculous for me to judge them.

Still, I know we would not feel comfortable making the move they made, but the more I think about it the more I realize “this” is our finances and “that” is theirs. It seems bizarre that we are ingesting the same material and message and have reached different conclusions. Maybe we haven’t reached different conclusions, just different priorities.

Or maybe it’s a healthy dose of fear, uncertainty and doubt put to good use to get a new toy.

Either way they had their garage sale last weekend and we took a few things over to sell as well. I think they took in about $600 and I’m happy for them.

I’m grateful for The Wife and our focus. I don’t need to understand anyone else’s.

the Dad

© the Dad, Climbing Out, 2009. | 10 comments

It was one year ago last week that I was laid off and our financial tail-spin began in earnest. We came financially unraveled so quickly my memories of last November are more vague feelings of swimming in a fog than actual images.

One year ago I was tearing down Halloween, pretending to care about Christmas and sinking into a sense of hopelessness about money and finances.

We had no emergency fund, did not budget our income, had nearly $50,000 of unsecured debt, owed $30k more on our house than it was worth, had a small fortune in medical bills from The Wife’s fight with 400 pounds of falling building materials, and were in a leased 2008 Mazda CX-7.

I live a different life today. This morning I found myself thinking of all things that we have changed in the past year and am humbled and grateful for where we find ourselves now.

In February we found the plan that we embraced to lead us out. The Wife didn’t hesitate to jump in and commit.

So today I offer my list of things changed since that time of financial ruin one year ago.

• we have a plan (this, of course, is the real biggie)
• we communicate often about money (well, okay, THIS is the real biggie)
• we own two paid-for cars; a 1997 with 60k miles and a 2003 with 181k miles
• we have less than half as many cable channels
• we have half as many bank accounts
• my wallet is half as thick
• I bring lunch from home nearly every day
• I get paid (a little) for two of my hobbies and trade graphics work for a third instead of paying for any of them
• “emergencies” are very few and far between now instead of monthly
• we negotiate a lot more both with each other and with retailers
• our children have learned new words like “debt-free”, “savings” and “no”
• there is more room in the garage where the table saw, chop saw, router table and Christmas light controllers used to be
• there is less room in the garage with all the shipping boxes and packing material that I horde for eBay and Craigslist sales
• gas money is now a “thing”
• we write a blog called “Climbing Out”

Oh and to that last point, a year ago no one would have written this about us:

I just wanted to add one other thing….there is someone on the forum who owns the blog climbing out.[net]. I don’t know who you are……but don’t ever doubt you have been a blessing to someone. I came across your blog one evening (following a link to a link to a link) and I spent the entire night reading it from beginning to current. I was so taken with your total honesty…. and for the first time realized there’s no shame in admitting “Hey, I’ve done some STUPID things when it comes to money!”

Thank you so much….whoever you are! You’ve definitely had an influence on my life!

That is The Top so far. Both of us teared up; mostly because we still kind of think we’re idiots but managing to get by anyway.

The Wife, the Dad and the kids here today are completely different people than we were a year ago.

Wonder what next year will bring.

the Dad

© the Dad, Climbing Out, 2009. | 13 comments