27 Jul
Entitlement to Maintain the Status Quo – Nope, You Don’t Deserve Anything
Have you ever seen a toddler drop the whole scoop off the top of his ice cream cone? It seems like slow motion as that thing falls, splat, to the ground in the all-enveloping silence before the crying begins.
No parent wouldn’t love to replace that scoop immediately. It’s human nature. We all have been there.
We want to restore balance, make things right, put them back the way they were as quickly as possible.
Maybe Things Don’t Need to Be Restored
Focusing our lives on becoming debt-free shines a painful light on this simple aspect of our nature; it’s ridiculous to think we are entitled to our things.
I’m not saying don’t buy the kid an ice cream, I’m saying you and I are not kids. Things break, get stolen, wear out and you know what? We are not entitled to a new one!
This was an eye-opening lesson for me to re-learn lately. I’ve caught myself at times trying to make sure things are “at least where we had it”, “as good as it was”, “fair”. Have you ever had those thoughts? Once we stepped back and took a hard look at the financial poop we were floating in I realized how that sounded: petty and entitled.
How am I Supposed to React Instead?
I think the simple replacement for such emotion might be gratitude.
If I stop considering myself the owner of things, but instead as a steward, entitlement almost goes away completely, doesn’t it?
I remember driving home from the airport my senior year of high school and my dad telling me that my truck had been taken while I was gone. One day it was there, the next it was gone. Right out of our driveway.
“Wow. Well, it wasn’t my truck anyway, it was God’s. He was just letting me use it.”, was my response. Wow. Where did that guy go?
Somehow I lost sight of that belief over the last 20 years, but striving for financial peace is reminding me what the important things are. I don’t own my marriage, but I am one of its stewards and I can choose how I care for it. I certainly don’t own my children, but I will be the steward of their youth. If I approach our money the same way financial decisions become incredibly clear.
I am going to shed any feelings of entitlement and get back to being a good steward of the things entrusted to me.
By-the-way, as we pulled into the driveway that day 20 years ago my truck was indeed gone, but in its place was a brand new red sports car. I’m still not sure how my parents managed to pull that one off, but it made for a great end to high school.
What if the right attitude gets you a new scoop of ice cream every time?
the Dad
Posted by Liz on 07/27/10 at 10:01 am
Great story, excellent insights. Thanks!
Posted by Gramps on 07/27/10 at 9:03 pm
I wondered if you were going to tell them about the shiny brand new red sports car? But I must admit I was so proud of you with your response when I told you the truck was stolen….I thought…we have done some things right….what a great attitude…made the ensuing surprise even that much sweeter.
Love you, Dad
Posted by jpkittie on 07/28/10 at 2:28 am
that is awesome ~ and you are right, we all need just the right attitude!!!!
Posted by the Dad on 07/28/10 at 11:35 am
Thanks, guys. I lost sight of that gratitude for a while and got caught up in consuming with debt. Never again. Cheers!
Posted by Tutu on 07/28/10 at 3:24 pm
Of course, the Mom of the Dad and Wife of Gramps is hugely emotional and proud of both her men. Ill never forget that day myself. There was also the day that we were really tight with cash and we all went out to search the floors of our cars to find enought money for son to get a haircut.
It’s those memories, of everyone having a common goal and pulling together to achieve it, that make life memorable and worthwhile. It’s also how character is built. Kudos everyone.
Posted by MissGina on 09/21/10 at 5:26 pm
Yeah this was a very good post and I do believe the right attitude pays off even if not immediately
Posted by Right-Sized on 11/15/10 at 9:42 pm
Thank you for the eye-opener. I need to right-size my thinking about “what I deserve”. It’s not about what I deserve — and even if it was, why do I think I deserve more than I can afford? I want to live in peace. I can’t have peace with debt so I am going to practice thinking and living without buying new stuff. Phones, computers, cable boxes, furniture, coffee pots, gadgets, these things don’t have to be the latest and greatest. Just take care of them and keep them working. So what my bathrooms don’t have granite-topped vanities. There’s plenty of room for little kitty to sit and watch me brush my teeth.
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