Don’t Mind the Smoke, It’s Just the $2,000 in My Pocket Burning

My emotional connection to money, loans, debt and the interplay with relationships has changed so drastically that I feel a certain discomfort with the situation

This whole get-out-of-debt nonsense has really screwed me up, you know that? I mean, really. When was the last time someone handed you $2,000 and you said, “no, thanks”?

Not long ago I mentioned some freelance work coming up. It’s a fun, challenging project, but one for which there has been little time lately.

It is for a dear friend and is not on a strict deadline. Nonetheless, I want to get it done sooner rather than later. I am shooting for the end of February. It should net around $3,000 toward our debt and I look forward to making that payment.

But the bulk of the work remains to be done. Like, 90% of it. So, although I have been keeping track of my hours we are in Happy Meal land on the balance sheet, you know what I’m saying?

Imagine my surprise when my friend hands me $2,000 a couple weeks ago.

“I need the expenses for 2009.”

Whoa. But, dude, I don’t borrow money.

“You’re not borrowing money, it’s for the project.”

Yeah, but it kinda feels like a loan, you know? So we put it aside it its own account where it sits untouched until the job is done. In fact, it will be the start of moving our finances to a new bank, but that’s another post that has nothing to do with this loan / pre-payment / friendship-risker.

I am trying to decide if it has taken on a weird connotation now; a strange specter of debt. I understand that it was business money that does not affect my friend in anyway, but my emotional connection to money, loans, debt and the interplay with relationships has changed so drastically that I feel a certain discomfort with the situation.

That is leading to lots of clear communication with my friend that, in the worst case, will end in me simply handing his cash back. I’m not sure I’m handling it right, but that will just make me get the project done even quicker. I wonder what you all think of it.

Plus the hole in my pocket is starting to stink.

the Dad

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11 Responses to this post.

  1. jpkittie's Gravatar

    Posted by jpkittie on 19.01.10 at 2:27 pm

    oh boy! I think you did the right thing by putting it aside in a separate bank account… good for you – now that is will power!

  2. A.Marie's Gravatar

    Posted by A.Marie on 19.01.10 at 2:27 pm

    Good job on setting it aside; and I understand your whole money/friends/loan/relationship interplay….until the job gets finished, this money will kinda be like a loan.

    Get the job done and then the money will be yours, free and clear. If you don’t think that the job will get finished in a timely fashion, by all means, give the money back. Explain to your friend what you have blogged about here, and he’ll just have to find another expense to write off for 2009.

    Just my humble 2 cents worth! :)

  3. Murf's Gravatar

    Posted by Murf on 19.01.10 at 2:27 pm

    Try to deal with money without all that emotion! He contracted you for a job. Consider this his retainer. Whether you’ve only done 10% or 90% of the job yet is a moot point. Making the deadline with the goods is the deal. He made a smart business move by paying the $2000 in 2009. You make a smart business move by keeping it in that account until the job is done.

  4. Jeffrey Johnson's Gravatar

    Posted by Jeffrey Johnson on 19.01.10 at 2:27 pm

    I work in industry where prepayment for work is norm. Its either 100% if do not know person or its 50% if done work for them in past.

    I get prepaid often and prepay people often so I would not have problem with it.

  5. Tutu's Gravatar

    Posted by Tutu on 19.01.10 at 2:27 pm

    I agree with Murf – “KISS” – Keep It Simple. Sweetheart!”. This posting sounded a bit like me, when I “overthink” things. It’s just a WAY OF DOING BUSINESS – when I can put things back in that perspective, I can “climb back out” of the overthinking process. Love your website! Keep it up!

  6. the Dad's Gravatar

    Posted by the Dad on 19.01.10 at 2:27 pm

    You guys are all right on and I appreciate the common sense! Thank you!

  7. Forest's Gravatar

    Posted by Forest on 19.01.10 at 2:27 pm

    I actually never take pre-payment on jobs for this reason unless forced too…. Best thing is put it aside and get the work done asap but personally I think it’s worth getting the work done. I’m freelance too and sometimes work can dry up quickly, that 2k may come in handy!

  8. Forest's Gravatar

    Posted by Forest on 19.01.10 at 2:27 pm

    PS….. I was wondering if you could set up email subscribe so I can follow you ;) …. I’ll help you if needed.

  9. Money Funk's Gravatar

    Posted by Money Funk on 19.01.10 at 2:27 pm

    I like that – think of it as a retainer. That helps ease the issue a bit.

    Of course, puts you on the spot to make sure you perform in that contract job adequately. ;)

    Me, I think I would just leave it alone in the bank account until job is done. Peace of mind. But it would be so hard not to spend it. LOL. Or you could leave it alone and think of it as part of your EF. That might help.

    Psychology and Money – its a funny thing.

  10. Jeff's Gravatar

    Posted by Jeff on 19.01.10 at 2:27 pm

    I agree with the seperate bank account for the money. I understand your position on debt and how it makes you feel these days. I feel the same.

    Now get off your butt and get the project done, then its on to the next big money project and then the next. Soon you’ll be blogging about how you started your own business.

    http://www.speedingpassmydebt.com is avaliable :-)

    oh, yeah sub contractors are always sitting around out here wink wink

    Good luck

  11. I Love You…Like A Blogger!'s Gravatar

    Posted by I Love You...Like A Blogger! on 19.01.10 at 2:27 pm

    [...] Out – Don’t Mind the Smoke, It’s Just the $2,000 in My Pocket Burning [...]

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