Comments on: The Good and the Bad of Arbitrary Goals http://www.climbingout.net/2009/11/the-good-and-the-bad-of-arbitrary-goals/ One Family's Adventure in Becoming Debt-free Sat, 04 Sep 2010 13:21:21 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Climbing Out » Blog Archive » Don’t Mind the Smoke, It’s Just the $2,000 in My Pocket Burning http://www.climbingout.net/2009/11/the-good-and-the-bad-of-arbitrary-goals/comment-page-1/#comment-532 Climbing Out » Blog Archive » Don’t Mind the Smoke, It’s Just the $2,000 in My Pocket Burning Tue, 19 Jan 2010 22:27:19 +0000 http://www.climbingout.net/?p=689#comment-532 [...] long ago I mentioned some freelance work coming up. It’s a fun, challenging project, but one for which there has been [...] [...] long ago I mentioned some freelance work coming up. It’s a fun, challenging project, but one for which there has been [...]

]]> By: Laura@nomorespending http://www.climbingout.net/2009/11/the-good-and-the-bad-of-arbitrary-goals/comment-page-1/#comment-431 Laura@nomorespending Sat, 21 Nov 2009 11:54:05 +0000 http://www.climbingout.net/?p=689#comment-431 You are doing SO well and as other commentators have said - you will be debt free eventually. I can relate to the tiredness, I feel whacked out, but I know it will end soon. You are doing SO well and as other commentators have said – you will be debt free eventually. I can relate to the tiredness, I feel whacked out, but I know it will end soon.

]]> By: Tutu http://www.climbingout.net/2009/11/the-good-and-the-bad-of-arbitrary-goals/comment-page-1/#comment-427 Tutu Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:48:55 +0000 http://www.climbingout.net/?p=689#comment-427 I was very moved by your posting. You and your wife's commitment to this HUGE life-changing endeavor is inspiring and admirable. One of the dangers of "perfectionism" is that I set myself up for failure by setting unachievable goals in unachievable time lines. That's probably why the term "arbitrary goals" came about. Today, after painful experience, I do better at "chunking down" my projects....need to research something new? First step is to look up the phone number! I try to keep it as simple as that. Otherwise I'm looking at daily failure when I review my horrendous list of "to do's". Now I can say, "Hey, I started that project", or "I did the 4th step in that project." Many years ago when I was a single Mom, just going back to work, getting my toddler into daycare, and falling into bed at night, totally exhausted, I was finally able to get a car. It didn't have a radio, an AC or power anything, but it was getting us from here to there and we were thrilled. The only way I could afford this 1957 VW bug for $ 320 was by paying it off to my employer $ 5 every 2 weeks. At first I was so distressed and embarrassed that that was all I could pay. Eventually, I didn't even notice the payments or think about them. Then one day my employer came out and handed me the papers to the car, saying "Great Job - you're debt free!" It was about the journey, not the destination. When I read in your postings, how this journey is strengthening and growing your marriage and your family, I often get teary eyed. You guys are doing GREAT. The debt WILL be paid off. Don't forget to smell the flowers along the way and look for all you've achieved - it's mighty and huge. Let go and let it happen, Dad - it's all good. I was very moved by your posting. You and your wife’s commitment to this HUGE life-changing endeavor is inspiring and admirable. One of the dangers of “perfectionism” is that I set myself up for failure by setting unachievable goals in unachievable time lines. That’s probably why the term “arbitrary goals” came about. Today, after painful experience, I do better at “chunking down” my projects….need to research something new? First step is to look up the phone number! I try to keep it as simple as that. Otherwise I’m looking at daily failure when I review my horrendous list of “to do’s”. Now I can say, “Hey, I started that project”, or “I did the 4th step in that project.”
Many years ago when I was a single Mom, just going back to work, getting my toddler into daycare, and falling into bed at night, totally exhausted, I was finally able to get a car. It didn’t have a radio, an AC or power anything, but it was getting us from here to there and we were thrilled.
The only way I could afford this 1957 VW bug for $ 320 was by paying it off to my employer $ 5 every 2 weeks. At first I was so distressed and embarrassed that that was all I could pay. Eventually, I didn’t even notice the payments or think about them. Then one day my employer came out and handed me the papers to the car, saying “Great Job – you’re debt free!” It was about the journey, not the destination.
When I read in your postings, how this journey is strengthening and growing your marriage and your family, I often get teary eyed. You guys are doing GREAT. The debt WILL be paid off. Don’t forget to smell the flowers along the way and look for all you’ve achieved – it’s mighty and huge.

Let go and let it happen, Dad – it’s all good.

]]> By: Maggie http://www.climbingout.net/2009/11/the-good-and-the-bad-of-arbitrary-goals/comment-page-1/#comment-426 Maggie Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:43:44 +0000 http://www.climbingout.net/?p=689#comment-426 Keep perspective not just on your money but your mood. Your fatigue is warranted. Remember though that we are a week away from Thanksgiving and the holiday season begins with all it's stressers. I think you are just battle weary so don't get too down. Based on my math your freelance work will cover the extra $700 needed for 4 months. You also will likely find that come spring you have more energy and more determination to find that extra $700 for 8 more months. Personally I would rather strive hard to hit the goal and fail on that date then see potential failure coming and move the date of my success. As long as I keep moving arbitrary goals....they remain arbitrary. Hang in there and remember why you are doing this. You will all have more peace then your known in a long time when you achieve the goal. :) Keep perspective not just on your money but your mood. Your fatigue is warranted. Remember though that we are a week away from Thanksgiving and the holiday season begins with all it’s stressers. I think you are just battle weary so don’t get too down.

Based on my math your freelance work will cover the extra $700 needed for 4 months. You also will likely find that come spring you have more energy and more determination to find that extra $700 for 8 more months.

Personally I would rather strive hard to hit the goal and fail on that date then see potential failure coming and move the date of my success. As long as I keep moving arbitrary goals….they remain arbitrary.

Hang in there and remember why you are doing this. You will all have more peace then your known in a long time when you achieve the goal. :)

]]> By: jpkittie http://www.climbingout.net/2009/11/the-good-and-the-bad-of-arbitrary-goals/comment-page-1/#comment-425 jpkittie Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:39:03 +0000 http://www.climbingout.net/?p=689#comment-425 you have been doing amazing - just keep at it with all your power... you guys are truly an inspiration to all of us out here. you have been doing amazing – just keep at it with all your power… you guys are truly an inspiration to all of us out here.

]]> By: Kim http://www.climbingout.net/2009/11/the-good-and-the-bad-of-arbitrary-goals/comment-page-1/#comment-424 Kim Thu, 19 Nov 2009 04:04:08 +0000 http://www.climbingout.net/?p=689#comment-424 Dear Dad, Can I relate! Oh, those arbitrary goals - those seemingly innocent little deadlines - those that so easily wrap themselves around your heart and quickly settle in for a nice comfortable, I-ain't-moving sorta stay - oh, those deceiving little thieves! My hubby and I had set our arbitrary debt-free deadline as June 30, 2009. Well, we has a couple of springtime visits from murphy and at the beginning of June, I could see the writing on the wall but my DH was oh so determined - he was crunching the numbers, trying to find the where-with-all to make it work. Well, come our last paycheque in June and we couldn't make it work. We were only facing a wait until the next pay day (July 9th) but I'm not kidding when I say my dear sweet hubby was downright discouraged for days! This was only a 9 day delay but once our hearts are set ... Here's the truth of the matter, whether it's a matter of days or a matter of months, the deadline is NOT the thing! Don't be deceived for even one moment - IT IS the getting there that counts! I know you will hang on to the truth of things, to the everyday victories, to keeping the good fight and to the getting there! Your honesty and openness in writing about the journey -good, bad and ugly - is courageous and hopeful. We're rooting for you and your wife! Dear Dad,
Can I relate!
Oh, those arbitrary goals – those seemingly innocent little deadlines – those that so easily wrap themselves around your heart and quickly settle in for a nice comfortable, I-ain’t-moving sorta stay – oh, those deceiving little thieves!

My hubby and I had set our arbitrary debt-free deadline as June 30, 2009. Well, we has a couple of springtime visits from murphy and at the beginning of June, I could see the writing on the wall but my DH was oh so determined – he was crunching the numbers, trying to find the where-with-all to make it work. Well, come our last paycheque in June and we couldn’t make it work. We were only facing a wait until the next pay day (July 9th) but I’m not kidding when I say my dear sweet hubby was downright discouraged for days! This was only a 9 day delay but once our hearts are set …
Here’s the truth of the matter, whether it’s a matter of days or a matter of months, the deadline is NOT the thing! Don’t be deceived for even one moment – IT IS the getting there that counts!

I know you will hang on to the truth of things, to the everyday victories, to keeping the good fight and to the getting there! Your honesty and openness in writing about the journey -good, bad and ugly – is courageous and hopeful. We’re rooting for you and your wife!

]]> By: Tam http://www.climbingout.net/2009/11/the-good-and-the-bad-of-arbitrary-goals/comment-page-1/#comment-420 Tam Wed, 18 Nov 2009 01:03:33 +0000 http://www.climbingout.net/?p=689#comment-420 A seven month potential delay is NOT terrible. You will find a way to make it by October or you won't , but YOU WILL BE DEBT FREE! We have been reluctant to set a "paid off by" date. Our snow ball has fluctuated...we fell off the wagon in October and $1000 in car repairs in November.... Bleck. But we have paid off almost 19k since April. I desperately want to keep up that momentum. If we can keep up that average of $2375 per month that is just over 68 months.... Our major hurdle to increasing that amount is selling the two houses that are worth less than we owe on them thereby freeing up another 2K...Maybe in 2-3 years when the housing market recovers. I just keep saying to myself, "we are not stuck, we are making progress, we can do this." The wife understands me when I say, "but I mean NOW." You just have to focus on what you are doing not what you could be doing IF (IF we didn't have 2 mortgages I could stay home with the kids and we could STILL send 4K/ month to debt and be paid off in 40 months--or I could keep working and we could be debt free in 29 months).... Focus on now (repeat). I keep telling myself that too! A seven month potential delay is NOT terrible. You will find a way to make it by October or you won’t , but YOU WILL BE DEBT FREE!

We have been reluctant to set a “paid off by” date. Our snow ball has fluctuated…we fell off the wagon in October and $1000 in car repairs in November…. Bleck. But we have paid off almost 19k since April. I desperately want to keep up that momentum. If we can keep up that average of $2375 per month that is just over 68 months…. Our major hurdle to increasing that amount is selling the two houses that are worth less than we owe on them thereby freeing up another 2K…Maybe in 2-3 years when the housing market recovers. I just keep saying to myself, “we are not stuck, we are making progress, we can do this.” The wife understands me when I say, “but I mean NOW.”

You just have to focus on what you are doing not what you could be doing IF (IF we didn’t have 2 mortgages I could stay home with the kids and we could STILL send 4K/ month to debt and be paid off in 40 months–or I could keep working and we could be debt free in 29 months)…. Focus on now (repeat). I keep telling myself that too!

]]> By: Ninja http://www.climbingout.net/2009/11/the-good-and-the-bad-of-arbitrary-goals/comment-page-1/#comment-415 Ninja Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:23:57 +0000 http://www.climbingout.net/?p=689#comment-415 Goals are always good to have, but it's super important to tweak those goals when necessary. It doesn't seem that your spending is crazy or anything like that, so don't be bummed that you can't be debt free by your deadline. As long as you are putting all your cash towards the debt, you can't do much about it. Goals should always be revisited and readjusted when necessary. I commend you for being realistic and on top of things :) Goals are always good to have, but it’s super important to tweak those goals when necessary. It doesn’t seem that your spending is crazy or anything like that, so don’t be bummed that you can’t be debt free by your deadline. As long as you are putting all your cash towards the debt, you can’t do much about it. Goals should always be revisited and readjusted when necessary. I commend you for being realistic and on top of things :)

]]> By: the Dad http://www.climbingout.net/2009/11/the-good-and-the-bad-of-arbitrary-goals/comment-page-1/#comment-414 the Dad Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:07:42 +0000 http://www.climbingout.net/?p=689#comment-414 Thanks, guys. All of your insight and encouragement is appreciated. Kelsalynn: "Relaxing now won’t feel the same as it will in October 2010" - boy, that's a great quote and motivator. Thank you! Money Funk, I don't think so. We averaged the returns we'd gotten in the last few years, divided by 12 and adjusted my withholding to prevent a refund next year (and maximize cash flow right now). I assume we may get a little back or even owe a little, but it should be no more than $200 either way, I hope. Cheers! Thanks, guys. All of your insight and encouragement is appreciated.

Kelsalynn: “Relaxing now won’t feel the same as it will in October 2010″ – boy, that’s a great quote and motivator. Thank you!

Money Funk, I don’t think so. We averaged the returns we’d gotten in the last few years, divided by 12 and adjusted my withholding to prevent a refund next year (and maximize cash flow right now). I assume we may get a little back or even owe a little, but it should be no more than $200 either way, I hope.

Cheers!

]]> By: Money Funk http://www.climbingout.net/2009/11/the-good-and-the-bad-of-arbitrary-goals/comment-page-1/#comment-413 Money Funk Tue, 17 Nov 2009 15:55:37 +0000 http://www.climbingout.net/?p=689#comment-413 The main goal: you are working diligently towards getting out of debt. Pushing your goal to May '11 maybe worthwhile for own sanity. Don't let your spirits get down just keep pushing along. Will you and your family get a tax refund? Perhaps that will help you catch up? The main goal: you are working diligently towards getting out of debt. Pushing your goal to May ’11 maybe worthwhile for own sanity. Don’t let your spirits get down just keep pushing along. Will you and your family get a tax refund? Perhaps that will help you catch up?

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