16 Nov
The Good and the Bad of Arbitrary Goals
We’re not going to make it.
The wife and I have been running the numbers and talking it over for about a month and we realize that unless we take extreme measures or a financial windfall drops in our laps, we are not going to make our goal of Debt-freedom by our tenth anniversary next October.
Like accepting Darth Vader is Luke’s father, it’s demoralizing and takes the wind out of my sails, folks.
”A goal is a dream with a deadline.” said Napoleon Hill and I gotta be honest, unless The Wife and I can drum up another grand each month, we ain’t gonna make ours.
Can you hear that? The deflating of my spirit? You see, math can be downright fun, gosh darn it, when the stuff to the right of the equal sign fits what we want! Today the numbers look like this:
- Remaining debt: $32,400
- Remaining time: 12 months
- Payment per month: $2,700
Currently we are sending about $2,000 toward debt each month. Those of you who have been reading Climbing Out for a while know how we got here and that cutting another $700 out of the budget is unlikely… so that leaves the income to work on.
Can we generate another $700 each month to reach an arbitrary, albeit emotionally important, goal like next October? Or is it unrealistic?
I’m not sure. Some days I think we can conquer the world and others I’m simply grateful for how far we’ve come.
One thing I know: I. Am. Tired. Sundays have truly become a day-of-rest at the Climbing Out household. I think the kids are as ready as we are to just throttle back and relax after watching Mom and Dad kicking it all week. I am full time with a commute that pushes three hours. The Wife works 6 days each week part time and wrangles the crumb-snatchers the rest of the time. Understandably, not much gas left in her tank after that.
So where does that leave us? I have some freelance work I am doing that will help to the tune of about $3,000, but am finding it hard to make time for it. Other than that I think we may have to accept a new time-line. Debt-free in May 2011 seems more likely than October 2010.
Getting out of debt isn’t easy, it’s just worth it.
I believe that. We’ll keep going. We’ve done it the other way and it sucks.
At least Darth turned out to be a good guy in the end.
the Dad
Posted by Kellie on 11/17/09 at 4:41 am
I hate changing arbitrary goals, too
I was hoping to knock our mortgage to under the $150k by year end. We can do this, but we made a decision this weekend to do other things with those funds. We are going towards something new and exciting now, but letting go of that arbitrary goal is very difficult for me! I’m really glad we had that goal all year though, because we got close. If not for that goal, we may not have made any progress towards it.
How about changing the goal to year end of 2010? It’s still a great goal that will be challenging. You know, I really think you guys are killing it and you might just be surprised at what you’re still able to pull off. I’d get on that $3k that you can snag, it’s just a short time. I know you are tired, but hang in there… you are building strong character muscles!!
Posted by The Long Distance Buddy on 11/17/09 at 5:53 am
Either endpoint is AMAZING for that sort of payoff. Sometimes taking the pressure off just a little bit will help the overall outcome and reduce the stress, making life more liveable and enjoyable. Don’t loose your drive just don’t have a heart attack doing it either. It’s really hard to pay off debt if you are in the hospital or loose it otherwise. Keep up the great work, as one of the more important this is that you are serving as inspiration for others, especially me.
Posted by KelsaLynn on 11/17/09 at 6:07 am
Either way, you’re going to be debt free, that’s the important part- the end result has not changed, only the timeline by which it happens.
I will tell you, though, that I had a very similar post to yours, where I didn’t know where the other $1,000 month was going to come from (to reach a predetermined goal). I didn’t think we’d be able to do it. Every month I stayed diligent and some months, it was there! I still to this day have no idea where it came from sometimes or how we did it! We ended up surpassing our goal although 8 months before that, it didn’t seem likely to even reach the goal.
Do what you can THIS MONTH to get closer to your goal. Focusing on the goal is important, but not if it makes you feel defeated.
You don’t need $700 extra every month…if you do that contract work for $3,000, that covers 4 months! That gives you 4 months to figure out how you’ll bump up the income again!
I’m not counting you out yet, I’m thinking you’ll do it.
PS: The sooner you become debt free, the sooner you can relax. Relaxing now won’t feel the same as it will in October 2010…I promise.
Posted by Music Man on 11/17/09 at 6:14 am
As a Cleveland Browns fan, I am an expert in crushed goals! It sucks that you can’t get it done when you want too but just know that it will get done. Myself, I’m about to have a bigger worry in that the pastor of my church is retiring at years end. No biggie except for the fact that the leaders of the church just told him that he is not welcome back in the building after the first of the year! I’m like his golden boy…so guess who’s next on the chopping block. Now will be the time to put this whole budgeting thing to a real test. Sorry that I kind of used this as a venting outlet…I’ll go write on my own blog now.
Music Man
Posted by Money Funk on 11/17/09 at 7:55 am
The main goal: you are working diligently towards getting out of debt. Pushing your goal to May ’11 maybe worthwhile for own sanity. Don’t let your spirits get down just keep pushing along. Will you and your family get a tax refund? Perhaps that will help you catch up?
Posted by the Dad on 11/17/09 at 8:07 am
Thanks, guys. All of your insight and encouragement is appreciated.
Kelsalynn: “Relaxing now won’t feel the same as it will in October 2010″ – boy, that’s a great quote and motivator. Thank you!
Money Funk, I don’t think so. We averaged the returns we’d gotten in the last few years, divided by 12 and adjusted my withholding to prevent a refund next year (and maximize cash flow right now). I assume we may get a little back or even owe a little, but it should be no more than $200 either way, I hope.
Cheers!
Posted by Ninja on 11/17/09 at 12:23 pm
Goals are always good to have, but it’s super important to tweak those goals when necessary. It doesn’t seem that your spending is crazy or anything like that, so don’t be bummed that you can’t be debt free by your deadline. As long as you are putting all your cash towards the debt, you can’t do much about it. Goals should always be revisited and readjusted when necessary. I commend you for being realistic and on top of things
Posted by Tam on 11/17/09 at 5:03 pm
A seven month potential delay is NOT terrible. You will find a way to make it by October or you won’t , but YOU WILL BE DEBT FREE!
We have been reluctant to set a “paid off by” date. Our snow ball has fluctuated…we fell off the wagon in October and $1000 in car repairs in November…. Bleck. But we have paid off almost 19k since April. I desperately want to keep up that momentum. If we can keep up that average of $2375 per month that is just over 68 months…. Our major hurdle to increasing that amount is selling the two houses that are worth less than we owe on them thereby freeing up another 2K…Maybe in 2-3 years when the housing market recovers. I just keep saying to myself, “we are not stuck, we are making progress, we can do this.” The wife understands me when I say, “but I mean NOW.”
You just have to focus on what you are doing not what you could be doing IF (IF we didn’t have 2 mortgages I could stay home with the kids and we could STILL send 4K/ month to debt and be paid off in 40 months–or I could keep working and we could be debt free in 29 months)…. Focus on now (repeat). I keep telling myself that too!
Posted by Kim on 11/18/09 at 8:04 pm
Dear Dad,
Can I relate!
Oh, those arbitrary goals – those seemingly innocent little deadlines – those that so easily wrap themselves around your heart and quickly settle in for a nice comfortable, I-ain’t-moving sorta stay – oh, those deceiving little thieves!
My hubby and I had set our arbitrary debt-free deadline as June 30, 2009. Well, we has a couple of springtime visits from murphy and at the beginning of June, I could see the writing on the wall but my DH was oh so determined – he was crunching the numbers, trying to find the where-with-all to make it work. Well, come our last paycheque in June and we couldn’t make it work. We were only facing a wait until the next pay day (July 9th) but I’m not kidding when I say my dear sweet hubby was downright discouraged for days! This was only a 9 day delay but once our hearts are set …
Here’s the truth of the matter, whether it’s a matter of days or a matter of months, the deadline is NOT the thing! Don’t be deceived for even one moment – IT IS the getting there that counts!
I know you will hang on to the truth of things, to the everyday victories, to keeping the good fight and to the getting there! Your honesty and openness in writing about the journey -good, bad and ugly – is courageous and hopeful. We’re rooting for you and your wife!
Posted by jpkittie on 11/19/09 at 3:39 am
you have been doing amazing – just keep at it with all your power… you guys are truly an inspiration to all of us out here.
Posted by Maggie on 11/19/09 at 3:43 am
Keep perspective not just on your money but your mood. Your fatigue is warranted. Remember though that we are a week away from Thanksgiving and the holiday season begins with all it’s stressers. I think you are just battle weary so don’t get too down.
Based on my math your freelance work will cover the extra $700 needed for 4 months. You also will likely find that come spring you have more energy and more determination to find that extra $700 for 8 more months.
Personally I would rather strive hard to hit the goal and fail on that date then see potential failure coming and move the date of my success. As long as I keep moving arbitrary goals….they remain arbitrary.
Hang in there and remember why you are doing this. You will all have more peace then your known in a long time when you achieve the goal.
Posted by Tutu on 11/20/09 at 7:48 am
I was very moved by your posting. You and your wife’s commitment to this HUGE life-changing endeavor is inspiring and admirable. One of the dangers of “perfectionism” is that I set myself up for failure by setting unachievable goals in unachievable time lines. That’s probably why the term “arbitrary goals” came about. Today, after painful experience, I do better at “chunking down” my projects….need to research something new? First step is to look up the phone number! I try to keep it as simple as that. Otherwise I’m looking at daily failure when I review my horrendous list of “to do’s”. Now I can say, “Hey, I started that project”, or “I did the 4th step in that project.”
Many years ago when I was a single Mom, just going back to work, getting my toddler into daycare, and falling into bed at night, totally exhausted, I was finally able to get a car. It didn’t have a radio, an AC or power anything, but it was getting us from here to there and we were thrilled.
The only way I could afford this 1957 VW bug for $ 320 was by paying it off to my employer $ 5 every 2 weeks. At first I was so distressed and embarrassed that that was all I could pay. Eventually, I didn’t even notice the payments or think about them. Then one day my employer came out and handed me the papers to the car, saying “Great Job – you’re debt free!” It was about the journey, not the destination.
When I read in your postings, how this journey is strengthening and growing your marriage and your family, I often get teary eyed. You guys are doing GREAT. The debt WILL be paid off. Don’t forget to smell the flowers along the way and look for all you’ve achieved – it’s mighty and huge.
Let go and let it happen, Dad – it’s all good.
Posted by Laura@nomorespending on 11/21/09 at 3:54 am
You are doing SO well and as other commentators have said – you will be debt free eventually. I can relate to the tiredness, I feel whacked out, but I know it will end soon.
Posted by Climbing Out » Blog Archive » Don’t Mind the Smoke, It’s Just the $2,000 in My Pocket Burning on 01/19/10 at 2:27 pm
[...] long ago I mentioned some freelance work coming up. It’s a fun, challenging project, but one for which there has been [...]