12 Nov
Reader Mail #1 – A Little Cursing Never Hurt Anyone
We get a few notes from the Contact page from time-to-time and this week I thought I’d answer a really good one publicly.
We are both sure enjoying your postings on “Climbing Out”…………great stories, much humor, lots of humility and strong resolve…..bravo!
Just a loving observation…….near the end of the Wells Fargo missive you, for the 1st time I believe, shifted blame in a slightly vulgar vein by referring to these evil lenders….as ‘asses’………..that word and that tone stopped me in my total and complete support of your efforts and new ideals……for the first time you shifted the blame to THEM….and in a crude fashion……as though THEY maybe held a gun to your head to borrow. To make this thing (debt free) work, and make it work enjoyably….my experience shows that I have to stay on my side of the street. I did this to me….not, THEY did this to me…. as long as you think you are not totally at fault you will not be totally committed to this new resolve.
Up to that one line, and then after, you told a great and factual story….and you got great feedback as to what you might do to mitigate some of that ridiculous interest increase…..but you have to know that from the start you were getting into bed with dogs….and the chance of fleas was there….and fleas have a tendency to multiply without prior warning…..
Hope I made my point in a loving and helpful fashion……my only intent is to see you succeed in this wonderful endeavor. We love your postings..!!!!!!
I think this was an excellent observation and very kind feedback.
With the new credit card consumer protection act (cnn, fox) going in to force next Spring, card issuers are doing what they can to maximize their profit and lock us in now.
The truth is according to our credit card agreement today Wells can do whatever they want to our interest rates and minimum payment whether we have been responsible customers or not (a warning to all of you who “pay it off every month”), and yes, we did sign that agreement.
I didn’t mean to adopt a kind of ‘victim language’, but I do love some well-placed vulgarity — which is why I read Heather Armstrong’s Dooce. Highly recommend it.
Keep your feedback both positive and negative coming; it is all welcome! We will answer it regularly here on Climbing Out or privately if you prefer.
the Dad
Posted by Kelsalynn on 12.11.09 at 1:52 pm
I love a strategically placed curse word here and there— it adds spunk! It draws my attention! : P
While I don’t think a victim perspective is productive, I do think it’s important to just go off sometimes on someone (not directly)- whether that’s a friend who doesn’t take your advice (after all, you know they don’t HAVE to take it) or a credit card company (yup, they’re stupid and you knew it when you crawled into bed with them)… you’ll realize that later, but in the meantime, gosh darnit, it’s okay to be pissed and maybe say something not totally valid.
I think that’s why I like blogs so much. It’s just a means to express yourself- whether it’s the right way to feel or not, sometimes we can’t control being pissed off.
Posted by Granny on 12.11.09 at 1:52 pm
Well, now I don’t feel so bad about using the word “crap” in a conversation with one of the grandkids one day, and having her repeat the word in a sentence, properly but loudly, in front of The Mom and The Dad a few days later! Yes, I know this is off-topic, but I just wanted you to know that I do feel much better.
Posted by The Long Distance Buddy on 12.11.09 at 1:52 pm
I agree that you shouldn’t look at yourself as a victim, to a point. But the Credit/Debt industry is a bunch of evil a-holes. Do I expect them to be Santa Claus but I do expect them to keep their word and be UP FRONT with their tactics. They purposfully disguise their notices to look like junk mail and change payment dates to screw you. There is NO REASON for them to change a payment due date other that YOU request it. EVIL A-HOLES. So yeah I put my self in a position to get taken advantage of, but that is no excuse. It is like saying “with what she was wearing she was asking for it” she may have been, but it still ain’t right. Yeah I said ain’t. F YOU EVIL BASTARDS… Hey it helps me focus.