7 Oct
That’s Not Good Enough! Finally Learning the Lesson
There is an FPU class on negotiating. I should take it again.
I’m not very good at negotiating, getting the deal or walking away. That last one you would think would be easier for me. If you don’t have the money then walk away. The problem is I don’t use the power of walking away when the monetary difference seems manageable.
Today I signed the kids up for gymnastics class. I told the Dad that the classes would be $70 a month. When I went to sign the papers, I was surprised by the $35 per child registration fee! That was double what I expected to pay. That was double what we had budgeted for. Eek!
I should not have written the check, but I did.
I should have excused myself and either walked out or called the Dad for an emergency budget meeting. I did neither. Oops. I felt like I had done wrong by our budget. Then I called the Dad and he reminded me about Dave’s lesson and that I should ask to have the registration reduced or waived OR to back out entirely. My nervous, shy, little girl started to get worked up. What’s the worst that could happen? She could say “no” and I could leave with my check. I knew I couldn’t go home to the Dad without doing something.
So, I took a deep breath and walked back to the registration desk. I began to explain that I had sent a text to my husband and he freaked out about the extra money. She went to return my check. No, no, I don’t want my check. I want my kids to take gymnastics, but is there something we can do about the registration fee? She agreed that I could pay for the classes for this month plus only one registration and the rest next month. Whew. I had done it. I had spread the payments out to make them more manageable (ed: ominous music here).
I called husband on the way home, proud I had done something even if the solution wasn’t ideal. He reminded me that we don’t borrow money anymore and explained that what he really wanted was the fee waived all together. I didn’t even ask about that. She seemed very nice about splitting the fee up so I left it at that. The Dad was glad I had done something, but it wasn’t enough for him. So, he called the gym. Then he called me back…
The owner did it. She waived the fee. All together.
We have two kids and will spend a lot of money on classes and we can take our money anywhere. I need to remember that it is our money and we have control. I would like to easily give my children everything they want and everything I want them to have. I know that time will come, it’s just not today. Today we are in debt and we must exert our spending power. And ask. Ask for the deal. Ask for understanding. Ask until it’s good enough.
The Wife
Posted by Stacie on 10/08/09 at 2:44 am
Good for you! “That’s not good enough” is my favorite all time DR phrase.
Posted by Music Man on 10/08/09 at 3:17 am
I feel your pain here Wife. I have always been the kind that never asked for any kind of consession. Heck, even if there was an advertised special I always felt like I was ripping someone off. I mean, they gotta eat too. Right? I haven’t had the chance to practice that particular lesson yet but I’m sure that once you do it a few times it becomes easier and, dare I say, fun. At least you did SOMETHING though and for that you get kudos.
Posted by Sharon on 10/09/09 at 4:12 am
I tend to believe that the “male” partner is taken more seriously in negotiations. I’ve tried to negotiate only to get frustrated with no results. When my husband says exactly the same thing, they pay attention. What’s the deal?? I’m glad you were able to waive the fee!
Posted by the Dad on 10/09/09 at 1:08 pm
@Music Man – I know what you mean. I have to remind myself that I am giving the business an opportunity to serve me and they can decide to decline.
@Sharon – that is depressing, but I don’t doubt that you are right. The Wife? Do you find this too?
Posted by The Wife on 10/21/09 at 5:11 pm
Sharon, totally! I remember being 16 with my first car. It needed some work done so I took it back to the dealership where I purchased it. The service guy I went to see was unclear and I felt like I was getting ripped off. The next time I was due for service I asked my father to go with me. I asked the service guy some questions and he gave my father the answers! I believe I left without having the work done. I asked my dad if I was imagining things and he said “no”, he noticed too that the guy was not talking to me. That was my first lesson in sexual discrimination. I need to get over it.
Posted by Tam on 11/17/09 at 4:46 pm
Wow. The thought of not having to pay a registration fee…unthinkable. I was very happy with your “solution” wife–but DAD…dang! It is amazing to me that the hardest thing for me to wrap my brain around in this process is having control of our money. Go you two!