11 Oct
Lesson #2: Remember to Talk to Your Spouse About the Little Things
I need to remember to talk to my husband. He knows stuff. He is super focused on getting us out of debt and listens to Dave Ramsey almost every day. Yet old habits die hard. I try so hard to be strong and independent and handle things on my own. I need to remember that part of this process of getting debt-free is the new communication that it has brought to our marriage. I need to remember that even the little things are worth sharing because Husband may have some insight that I don’t have that could save us a couple bucks. And right now, that means something.
Here’s the story.
The Dad and I received special “blow” money from his parents. I immediately set off to find a pattern and fabric to start a new sewing project. That’s what I do. I sat down with the kids and let them each pick their own fabric for a shirt pattern I had found. It was very much a wonderful Mommy-child moment. I ordered the fabric and waited.
When it showed up I washed it and began to pin the pattern to the fabric. Well, that didn’t go well. Several pieces of the fabric were too small for the size of the pattern. I ordered what I was supposed to! I was mad. I was so looking forward to making something for the kids that we had picked out together. I had hoped to get it done for their birthday. No deal.
A couple weeks later I got more “blow” money as per our budget. I drove the kids to my favorite fabric store and purchased new fabric for the shirt. I felt grateful for the blow money, but I was hoping to spend it on something for me as I felt I had already bought fabric for the kids. I try to spread the love, you know.
That night, after the kids were in bed, the Dad and I talked about the day. I mentioned the fabric purchase. He looked at me in confusion. “Could you have replaced the few too-small pieces for less than you spent on all the new fabric?” Umm. Maybe. Yeah. Probably.
Duh.
I need to remember that we are in this together; that I am not doing this on my own. I need to remember that he can always provide new perspective. I will try to talk to the Dad more about the little things.
The Wife
Posted by Music Man on 10/11/09 at 1:38 pm
Ah the little things. Yeah, I’d say that things tend to go better when we talk about the little things. We tend to gloss over them because we are too busy looking at the big picture. Too bad that, while you are looking at the big picture, the little things came up and bit you in the butt! Lesson learned ma’am
Music Man
Posted by Tutu on 10/14/09 at 1:12 pm
I really related to this post, wife! The times I’ve gotten myself into trouble in our marriage is when I haven’t listened to that still small voice inside that was saying, “I wonder if I should bounce this off husband?” I’ve learned through painful, humbling experience, that once that voice is talking, it means, “YES! TALK THIS ONE OVER WITH HIM!” I know what you mean, though – I don’t want to be running to him with everything, “Can’t I think for myself? What if he says “NO” – or “How could you do that?!” – He never says those things to me. He always gives a different perspective. I need to remember that TOGETHER we’re stronger than “one plus one”; we’re one plus one plus that power that happens between two people when they communicate openly. I admire your humility.
By the way, how did the shirts turn out????
Posted by Money Funk on 10/14/09 at 6:11 pm
I can relate to this post, too.
I think sometimes we just take those small moments for granted. Yet when we communicate we make great strides in our progress. So thank for the reminder that it is important to communicate the small things with the other half.
Posted by The Wife on 10/21/09 at 5:06 pm
Tutu, the shirts turned out great! Really beautiful. I am so proud of myself. Plus, we had a playdate and the mother of the girl visiting asked me to make one for her daughter and offered to pay for it. Wheeee! Yea me! I am going to use the fabric I originally bought for her youngest daughter and then buy new fabric for her eldest daughter. I think I can charge $50 for each shirt plus $30 in fabric.
Posted by Julie on 10/23/09 at 9:54 am
“$50 for each shirt plus $30 in fabric”???? I need to get back to sewing! I’m impressed. Can you post a picture of one of the shirts you made….is there anything special about them? (other than you the mom made them for your kids, which is not to be underestimated)
Thanks for the post!