22 Apr
Cancelled! The Tale of Two Cards
Pining (v. to yearn deeply; long painfully) is just part of human nature. Not only is it nice to have something worth pining for, but if we are honest with ourselves we would like people out there to pine for us too.
This week I got served big, slimy credit-card-version slices of that pie after two statements arrived with zeros on them. One from Home Depot and one from B of A.
Yay! Two cards paid off forever. Time to cancel the accounts. I was relishing the moment as I dialed the 800 number and waded through labrinthian menu structures to reach the hapless, unsuspecting agent who would soon be begging me to stay.
When the Home Depot rep heard why I was calling I was passed on to “someone who could help me with that.” Oh did she fight for me. Yes! This was the free entertainment I was hoping for!
She was saddened and actually hurt that we, “I see you are long-time customers”, would leave.
“You still take cash, don’t you?”
She chided me, “Are you forgetting about emergencies?” She played on my fears, “Don’t you want to be able to take care of your family? You don’t want to be left out in the cold with no credit if something breaks, do you?”
Sweet music to my ears. “Good thinking!” I said, “We have an emergency fund for that, though. We’ll be okay. Thanks.”
Discounts, zero-interest, this sweet cubiclelian*-lady gave it her all, but in the end she agreed to close the account and our brief, yet entertaining, relationship came to an end.
Then it was B of A’s turn. Fresh off the fun of the prior call it was through the menu maze again for more pleading. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
No forwarding to “someone who can help you with that”. No chiding. No sadness.
“Okay, sir, as of five pm today that account is closed. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
Really? No pining? You won’t even miss me?!
As the green glowing screen of the cordless phone went black with a push of the Off button I couldn’t help but feel a little cheated. All those years as a customer really didn’t mean anything to you, did they, B of A?
Ha! Me neither. Two down.
the Dad
*cubicleian: n. a resident of a cubicle, yes — I made it up
Posted by Granny on 04/22/09 at 8:11 am
Awesome!
Posted by Shaun on 04/22/09 at 10:58 pm
I would feel cheated from BoA…
Capital One sent me to a retainment specialist. I loved the “you’re gonna ruin your credit score.” I said “oh darn, does it go below 0?”
Looking forward to the next card, good ole Credit One, my first ball and chain..
Keep up the great work!